Porto Moniz natural pools, Madeira, Portugal
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“You should really stop that.” I look over at her, quizzical. She points to the cigarette dangling from my mouth and gives me the basic line that everyone says to a smoker. “It’s not healthy.” “I could stop smoking at any given moment, yknow.” As I crush the supposed “cancer stick” to the dirt, resisting the urge of an eye-roll. She’s watching me, obviously waiting for an explanation. God, why does she care? No one ever has before. “It wouldn’t be hard, I mean, I’m not addicted or anything. ” She laughs and suddenly I’m trying to ignore how good it sounds. “Isn’t that what all addicts say?” “I’m serious.” Judging by the look on her face, I know that wasn’t the answer she wanted.. so I stopped sugar coating it. “I just don’t stop because I’d rather kill myself in a way that’s more..socially accepted. People don’t notice as much- they call me a smoker, not suicidal. I like it that way. ””
— Nicole Torres // Cigarette Daydreams Excerpt
“We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most. People try to bottle up their emotions, as if it’s somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life.”
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